Class! Today Professor Rambo will be teaching you all on the proper way to feed cats. This information is straight from a cat, so you can know it is right.
1. Cats need four full meals a day. I prefer round meals over square meals, because my stomach is round. And when I say full meal, I mean a meal that makes my stomach full. So give your cats lots of food.
2. Must you pet cats so much? I mean, we get bombarded by people as soon as we're spotted! The madness, the germs, the tickling! It's horrible. Basically, all I want is for you guys, and girls especially girls, to leave us alone. Maybe a stroke or two a day, but that's it. Give us food and leave us alone.
3. The kittens are not superior to us. Perhaps this kind of contradicts the last point, but if you're going to snuggle the kittens, snuggle us too. We adult cats don't want to feel inferior to the little 'uns. So treat us all equal (and hopefully nicely).
4. Let us sleep! When we are sleeping, don't wake us up. Unless its lunch time. Then please wake me up, but leave everyone else to sleep.
There you go. A four point list to taking care of me. I hope you learned a lot, there will be a test. Though, if you give me a free meal, I'll go easy on you. Hehe.
Note: this report was not sanctioned or approved by the CCA (Cat Caretakers of America).