This is the first post of things I learned on my missions trip. I learned this while away from the internet for a week, so it might be slightly hallucinatory and make little sense.
What did I learn? There's nothing better than a face to face conversation.
Sure, the internet is nice for keeping up with people and for learning things. However, it is basically useless when it comes to real conversations. Why?
A. It takes too long to respond.
This is obvious, especially with emails. Sure, you can have conversations this way, but it just doesn't feel as connecting as a real conversation. You miss body language, verbal cues, and it takes too long for the other person to respond. There's no one over there to answer your question or comment on your statements until you've already left. This is fixed with chat rooms, but then you still run into another problem.
B. It's hard to explain yourself over written word.
This is especially true when debating someone over the internet. You post a huge novel of a response, then wait for them to respond, and find they've asked a question about the beginning of your speech. You answer that, get sidetracked on that discussion, and never get around to working through the big stuff. This can happen in real life too, but at least then it would save you the time of going through the unused words. And, with written word, you miss body language from the other person. And, over the internet, you sometimes can't tell if a person is asking a genuine question, being sarcastic, or just trying to aggravate you while ignoring what you say.
Now, most of the time, you can't be with your friends all the time. That is what makes the internet great. It keeps people together, and your 'conversations' can go a lot quicker than when we had to wait for letters to come in the mail. Still, a lot of the time I'd rather jump to the internet and do a quick email or Facebook message than actually talk to a person face to face. This keeps up the relationship, but it doesn't really help it grow.
Growing your relationships is something best done face to face.
I agree with a lot of this post, but I find it interesting that the reasons I would give for my horrible skills at communicating verbally are very similar to your reasons for why verbal communication is better: A. I don't have enough time to respond and B. I can't figure out how to explain myself verbally, there's too much body language to sort through, and everything goes off a different direction before I manage to say what I meant to on the first topic. :D I communicate about twenty times better through writing than through verbal communication. I used to send my brother letters even while we were living in the same house.
ReplyDeleteThe different perspectives on this topic are very interesting....
That's true. Verbal communication can prove difficult because people think before they speak, or cannot state things as well as they would like. Which is why each skill needs to be honed. Still, in my experience, it is easier for the two sides to comprehend each other and get more accomplished if it is face to face. Still, there are exceptions to every generalization.
ReplyDeleteI used to communicate better through writing (or thought I did), but now I am trying to be more verbal because (for some people) that is easier to comprehend. Also, it makes it easier for me (sometimes) to explain myself.
Hmm. Lots of qualifiers there...