Friday, March 7, 2014

Rambo's Ramblings - Explanation

   Ahem. Yes, so, uh, hello. Again. You probably know me as Rambo, the amazingly awesome cat from The Missing Kitten and Trapped. What's that? You haven't read Trapped yet? That's funny, because it came out March 1st. Oh, it didn't? Right, that's why I'm here.
   Here's the lowdown. Jesse is busy. Busy, busy, busy. Busy as a cat trying to clean itself with only a quarter of a tongue. That is why he hasn't published Trapped yet. If I were in charge of this process, it would have been done weeks ago. However, I am a cat and cats and computer don't get along too well. Therefore, I leave such things up to Jesse.
   What exactly is Jesse so busy with? Well, when one writes a book, it is necessary to be the best it can be. If it is not the best it can be, then the book will not get published. That's technically not true, 'cause lots of horrible books get published all the time. However, Jesse's is dedicated to excellence. This is why his books will be renowned for their amazing quality. Plus, I'm in it, so how could anyone dislike it? Sure, Jesse's writing style might bug you and the plot might not make much sense and some of the characters are poorly developed, but when you see my amazing action sequences battling robots and saving the world, you'll fall in love. But please, no more fan-mail, Jesse will never get done writing books if he has to sort through fan mail. He has enough of mine to look through (did I mention he doubles as my secretary?) as it is.
   What was I talking about? Oh, right! Jesse is busy with such things as: correcting confusing plot points, plotting complicated character arcs, waiting for cover art to return from the undercover artist, comprehending squirrel mail, piloting flaming aeroplanes, and disposing of the leftover boiled cabbage. As well as doing minor things such as schoolwork, college work, farm work, cow work, and sleeping. If any of those things are beyond your comprehension, join the club. I have no idea why he's doing them, and I watch him do it for at least eight seconds every day.
   I hope that answer all your questions. Now, remember: be patient, skunks are not going to take over the world after all. At least, not until you've read Trapped and it will be at least two weeks before such a thing happens. With that said, I hope you have a delightful day and beware exploding pineapples that might land in your backyard. I'm positive Seabert had nothing to do with it.

No comments:

Post a Comment