I hate writing. Writing is something that I have to force myself to do. I don't like it, it's difficult to actually write something good, and I can never actually polish something good enough to like.
As I've been finishing up Trapped, this has been something I've really been thinking about. I've wondered whether I should even continue writing. Should I keep at something I don't enjoy? Sure, just because you don't enjoy a job doesn't mean it isn't necessary. However, I'm not really making much money off this endeavor and I could be making more money at something I dislike less (or more). So what really is the point of this? Is joy a necessity for all actions?
As I've been thinking over this, I thought about the Fruit of the Spirit (found in the book of Galatians) and, after reading over this, I started wondering if I've been thinking about this all wrong. See, in our society we use the word "love" to cover an emotional/chemical reaction. This has set my thinking to consider joy in the same way. It thought joy equaled happiness, and I've never been a real happy-go-lucky type of guy. I'm more of the serious guy sitting in the corner who doesn't smile much, but doesn't frown a lot either. But I've never considered that to be embracing joy.
However, as I've studied and learned, I have come to realize that the word love is not used in the Bible to refer to a chemical reaction, but rather to a conscious choice. In fact, in order for the Fruit of the Spirit to be something which is possible to actually embrace, they must be choices, not emotions. It is not possible (without drugs) to feel the same way all the time. Happiness is an emotion, something which is a chemical response to good things that happen to us. In the same way, sadness is a result of a chemical process which is a response to something bad happening. We cannot always feel sad or happy regardless of our circumstances. We can choose to feel such ways, but it is near impossible to continually disregard our circumstances to embrace an emotion. Thus, just as love is a choice to do that which is good for those around us, joy must also be a choice.
And if joy is a choice, then surely hate is a choice as well. Therefore, even if I feel angry or frustrated about my writing, I am not really hating it uncontrollably. Hate must be a choice that I make. And if I am choosing to hate my work, then there is still the potential for me to enjoy it.
Have you ever thought of this before? Have you chosen to enjoy something regardless of how your emotions react?